Bodylicious

Let’s face it, I took up running to look better. That’s what all runners do, really. "Being in shape" is a euphemism for "Dayum, I look goooooood". Being healthy as a result is a bonus.

I think I do look better, actually. My body has changed somewhat over this past year. I’ve shrunk in inches but my basic shape is still there. Unfortunately? Fortunately? My cursed knees are still fat (Moth of Optimism: beloved knees). But I’m toning for sure. .. from the bottom up and the top down. I’m seeing definition and musculature but it only seems to have made it up to my mid-thighs and from my shoulders down to my belly button. I’m trying to figure out what shape this makes me. I’m not an apple, or a pear, or an hourglass. I keep picturing in my head those yoyo-type toys where there are strings on either side that you pull to make the round yoyo thingy in the middle spin around really fast. Or a Tinker Toy.

My calves pack a punch but looking down on them they appear to be gigantic. Maybe a bit shapelier but that could be the huge, cramping knots in the muscles. They don’t fit into my zip-up boots anymore, though. I have mini-muffin tops!

Side note: have I told you about IMS needling? My physio does it to my calves. Puts acupuncture needles straight into the muscle knots to the base of the needles (we’re talking a couple of inches) and keeps moving it up and down, poking around the muscle to release the knot. This is an interesting kind of pain. It’s like it’s buried, muted some how. Kind of bubbles up to the surface. Last week she hit a capillary or something and I felt it in my toes. I think she’s in cahoots with my chiropractor. Some kind of fiendish, Sweeney Todd-like plan. (Moth of Optimism: they are saintly people with only my success in mind!)

I still have the squidgy bits at the tops of my legs but I learned a great thing: these bits are likely not fat but built up scar tissue on my hip flexors! Not good for running but good for my self-esteem. I’m hoping this applies to other parts of my body, like the bit right below my belly button, or the backs of my upper arms. In fact, I’m hoping that I am just a mass of scar tissue and not fat...wait...that would mean to get rid of it I’d need hourly ART and Graston therapy with a tool the size of a boat oar.

And then there’s my butt. I’ve been really hoping to see a big change there. It’s smaller, I think. But it’s retained its shape: pseudo-cube. My friend calls it Spongebob Squarebutt. I call it Office Butt; comes from sitting most of the day. I thought with all the leg lifts it would round it out somehow but no such luck. It does look okay in my new running skort, though. Skort!

Other good news: Yesterday I think I actually saw my obliques.

News to balance it out: I think the fat deposits that were there have moved around to my back.

Good news: Now that I’m starting to get some colour on my legs (albeit spotty) the cellulite is far less noticeable.

Balancing news: I think I have a varicose vein on my right shin. This may not actually be running related.

Some marathon links

Food! Wine! 8500 people! Mayhem!

All coming up in a little over 2 months!!!!!!

http://outthere.fatface.com/2010/03/19/running-with-wine-marathon-du-medoc/
http://hubpages.com/hub/Marathon-du-Medoc
http://joobili.com/festival/marathon-du-medoc_pauillac_10133/
http://www.kpcommllc.com/marathon_du_m_doc_52922.htm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=734ihjuMwUg

Note: I will NOT be running in a coconut bra!!!

Lethal Weapon

I have learned a ton these last months of rehab. Enough that I’m halfway through Chiropractic College, apparently. I’ve found all this biomechanics stuff really interesting (must be the systems thinker in me) and I’m eating up all the various treatments I’m being subjected to for their therapeutic qualities and associated information.

And this has all resulted in me being a judgy, judgy bitch.

I’ve noticed that in running, everyone is an expert. You have an injury? There are 18 million reasons and corresponding solutions, take your pick. Most seem to have a mostly anecdotal basis and I don’t find fault in that. We’ve all got our own experiences and realities. But lots believe that what works for them should work for you, too, and that they know what’s going on with you.

Me included. It’s not quite clear what my expertise is but I now feel compelled to critique all other runners. Not to their face, of course. But if you run past me on the pathway one Sunday morning know that I am eyeing your heel whip and counting your cadence. And you will be found wanting, guaranteed. I look at several things:
· Foot placement: There are a lot of ducks out there. From what I’ve seen, the majority of people run like their toes have opposing magnets. Or worse, only one foot resembles the duck’s, which makes me wonder if they end up veering off to one side when they run.

· Core activation: There are lots of booties sticking out there, folks (though this very well may be on purpose). Suck in that tailbone! It will actually make your glutes work more, which is better for your knees and will do a much better job of filling in the junk in your trunk than pushing that trunk out there.

· Arms: These things flap around all over the place. Half the time I think people are gesturing at me. Or doing a Ukrainian Polka. Your thumbs need to be pointing up, people! Keeps ‘em from swinging around, keeping your core stable.

· Attire: I have witnessed a lot of inappropriate clothing choices. Cotton T-shirts are bad news, especially for long distances. There will be chafing. Those hot pink Keds look fab but will destroy your feet (and everything attached) at kilometre 30.

I, of course, am doing it all perfectly....now....

How did I get so insufferable? A little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing, they say. I suppose that makes me lethal.

There’s a bit of envy there for sure. Because it looks so effortless for others and has been such a struggle for me (But not anymore, right? No! I am the moth of optimism, I am the moth of optimism, I am the moth of optimism...) . And so I want to cut them all down (moth of optimism!), make them as miserable as me (moth of optimism!), make me feel like I’m not the only inept one out on the pathway (moth of optimism!). I’m afraid I’m not benevolent enough to wish them success. Something else to work on, I guess.

Robyn - The Rehabilitated Runner

It's been a while since I wrote. Some more knee issues and an itis in my ankle tendon. And lots of feeling sorry for myself. But I've sucked it up and emerged from my cocoon of negativity! I have shed the caterpillar of misery! I am the butterfly of good thoughts! The moth of optimism!

Or at least I'm trying to be. I've had several messengers telling me to get over myself and while I secretly seethed as they were telling me this, they're right. This milestone is not going to be achieved by being a sucky grump. I know it's been the theme of this blog but you'll just have to deal.

To date I've been focusing on the things that are going wrong, that make me crazy, that are just plain dumb about this whole running thing. And look where it's got me! Hobbling about, swelling up, bruising, deep water running. Obviously this strategy isn’t working for me. So I’m subscribing to the Power of Positive Thinking. We’ll see how I do because in the past I’ve struggled with that way of moving through the world. Yes, I’ve seen The Secret; I even own a copy. But I believe that some of life’s biggest learnings and areas of growth come through toil and trauma and just plain wallowing. I think it’s okay to allow yourself to do that every now and then. Why, I did it just last Friday! For the whole night! By myself! It was............good..............

So now I have to turn these thoughts around. Here are my biggest whines thus far with my new thinking:

Having to watch what I eat –I will lose my cellulite that much quicker if I stop eating pizza pops for breakfast, using cheese like I would salt and pepper, and drinking gin.

Spending lots of money on running stuff – If I look the part, I become the part. I’ll be safer....and dayum, I’ll look good....

Injuries – I get a lot of attention wearing bandages and limping.

The agony of regular Active Release Therapy – At the end of my sessions I can usually get a small little neck massage out of my chiropractor under the guise of an “adjustment”.

Trying to fit it all into my very busy, very important life – I can blame having to run in order to get out of things I don’t want to do.


This body of mine really is a wondrous thing. I look how far I’ve come in a year and a bit in terms of strength and endurance. Wowee. I know it will take me where I need to go.

Want Some Cheese With That?

I feel sucky. This running thing sucks. It seems like I'm taking 5000 steps forward and 4999 steps back. I resent it. I curse my sore knees and cramping calves. I lament my tight quads and flabby glutes. I sneer at my weak hips and pronating right foot. I give the side-eye to my dropping hips and disengaged core.

Everything hurts. Stretching hurts, cross-training hurts, chiro hurts, and running hurts - again. I know, I know. No pain, no gain. Blah, blah, blah. But I was hoping that some part of this would be fun.

And I'm really, really annoyed at all the time and money this is taking up.

This is definitely the muck in the middle. I'm trying really hard to trust the process but I'm not enjoying it right now. Maybe because I'm on my own at the moment. I'm not part of any running clinic so I'm just doing my runs myself, doing my training myself. But I don't want to hold anyone else back. My ego is definitely asserting itself.

I can totally picture myself running the marathon which is reassuring. I can visualize me running down the country road, winding through little French villages, sampling some vino along the way. I can see it. But I'm having trouble getting there.

And last night my roommate's cat bit me. Harrumph.

ROCD - Yeah, You Know Me!

For me to actually get out there and run, everything has to be just so. I think I have ROCD: Running Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Here is my checklist:

* Weather no colder than minus 20, no hotter than plus 20 (In my defense, I will go to the gym if the weather isn't cooperating)
* Socks can be no higher or lower than just above ankle bone. Lower and the sock slips over my heel and bunches up in my shoe; higher and it just looks dumb.
* Running pants have to have a drawstring so they don't slide down
* Running shirt has to cover midsection. I'm easygoing on T versus tank but I will not wear a singlet because I that word irritates me.
* If it's a tank, it can't be one of those that zips up on the side because the zipper chafes against my arm and it adds bulk.
* Jacket has to be zipped to the middle of my chest. Higher and it scratches my chin, lower and the wind gets in. And if it's too low the collar flaps around and hits my chin.
* Must have sunglasses, even if it's overcast
* Ears must be plugged in some fashion, usually with a headband. I HATE wind in my ears; legitimately, because it gives me earaches.
* Must have lip stuff of some kind on; sometimes I'll put it on my cheeks if it's windy.
* Hair. Hair is the biggest thing. Hair absolutely must not be in my face - ever. My headband does double-duty in the winter. The headband is challenging, though, because it pushes my bangs up and then when I take then headband off they stick straight up and I look like a fool. In the summer it's elastics and clips. If a strand dares to venture near my face I will rip it out so I use 2-3 elastics and A LOT of clips. It looks like I'm trying to keep something IN (like my dignity?) rather than keep something attached. And I can't wear a basic ponytail, it has to be more of a knot. A ponytail swings too much.
* Unless it's below minus 15, NO HAT.

It's funny to me because I'm pretty laid back most of the time. Other than, inexplicably, the colour of my toenails, I'm not overly fussy about how I look (when you have freckles, you get used to a bit of chaos in your appearance). I'm an outdoorsy, granola-girl at heart. I feel happiest being outside, in grubby clothes, mucking around in a garden or tromping through some woods. I'm not a crazy housekeeper either - and you should see my desk at work...yikes....

So what's with this fixation with what I'm wearing when I'm running? Really, with all my gear on nobody knows who I am and no one cares how I look. Comfort is important for sure. When you're running long distances the rest of your body feels so uncomfortable that being comfortable in what you're wearing can keep you from going over the edge. You would think I'd want the distraction, though.

Or maybe it's about control? If all of these details are taken care of then maybe I'm more likely to succeed at the actual running. Hard to tell if it's actually working, though I've had 5 pain-free runs now!!! Maybe that should be my strategy going forward. Like other athletes have rituals before they play so they do well, my weird dressing routine can me mine. Can't hurt!

I got back up to 10km yesterday!!!!

Metal Bar of Death

Last post, I neglected to talk about a key component of the runner's therapeutic process: The Graston Technique. Or, as I like to call it, @#$%^&* &^%%.

Scar tissue is bad. Scar tissue causes all kinds of problems. At some point, someone figured it was a good idea to take a metal bar and rub it back and forth over a muscle to break up said scar tissue. There are different sizes of bars for different muscles. Some have a greater weight to them. Some are pointy so they can get at the smaller muscles hiding behind the bigger ones. Some are curved and bent to get around some of the bigger muscles and bones. There is something very medieval about it all.

And Holy Dinah it hurts. But it leaves much more impressive bruises than ART, at least on my sickly, pale, Canadian, red-headed skin. I feel like I have something to show for all this pain. Battle scars, if you will.

Here's a link to a site which describes it with visuals: http://www.grastontechnique.com/SlideShowHowGTWorks.html. I also included a recent visual in my profile pic. This is my right IT band 24 hours after my chiro got after it. He barely touched my leg with the bar. Nice work, Tony!

PS: I ran 8km yesterday which is my best distance since my body fell apart!