I feel sucky. This running thing sucks. It seems like I'm taking 5000 steps forward and 4999 steps back. I resent it. I curse my sore knees and cramping calves. I lament my tight quads and flabby glutes. I sneer at my weak hips and pronating right foot. I give the side-eye to my dropping hips and disengaged core.
Everything hurts. Stretching hurts, cross-training hurts, chiro hurts, and running hurts - again. I know, I know. No pain, no gain. Blah, blah, blah. But I was hoping that some part of this would be fun.
And I'm really, really annoyed at all the time and money this is taking up.
This is definitely the muck in the middle. I'm trying really hard to trust the process but I'm not enjoying it right now. Maybe because I'm on my own at the moment. I'm not part of any running clinic so I'm just doing my runs myself, doing my training myself. But I don't want to hold anyone else back. My ego is definitely asserting itself.
I can totally picture myself running the marathon which is reassuring. I can visualize me running down the country road, winding through little French villages, sampling some vino along the way. I can see it. But I'm having trouble getting there.
And last night my roommate's cat bit me. Harrumph.